Emotions After A Heartbreak.
Going through a heartbreak can be really tough. It is usually at this point in time that I default to the bad habits I have been trying so long to avoid.
Sometimes the pain gets too overwhelming and finding an escape always seems like the best solution. This also makes it worst as I start hating myself even more for falling back into habits which led to no progress.
And in some worst cases which is very common in my experience, these suppressed feelings lead to several health issues.
In a recent video I watched on Dr. Mikhail Varshavski, commonly known as Dr. Mike’s Youtube channel, he explained the connection between our physical health and our mental state. He gave some examples of some health issues, like back pain which resolved by a patient sharing their buried emotions.
So from the information I had, I strongly believed the random pain and fatigue, I was feeling throughout my body at various moments was not due to pregnancy. My body was telling me some emotions wanted to be let out.
So I did just that and needless to say, I ended up coiled up on the floor crying out for divine intervention.
Now after the tears and talking about my feelings to my mum, what next?
This video by Jayshetty clearly outlines some steps for me to follow in order to make the most out of this stage in my life.
Jay Shetty 6 Healthy Ways To Be Alone After A Heartbreak
1. Know Yourself
In this video, Jay Shetty talks about taking this time to know yourself.
- He reminds us of the need to fall in love with ourselves first before expecting someone else to fall in love with us.
- Knowing our favorite meal or color first.
Processing this in my mind, the question which I had was, what if I had taken that time to know myself before experiencing that heartbreak or even going through some other challenges.
Then I remembered that challenges change us, taking time to know yourself means taking time to know who you that challenge has molded you into.
Also taking time to know yourself also means taking time to evaluate the mistakes or shortcomings you had which led to that challenge in the first place.
2. Don’t Chase Anyone
Jay Shetty reminds us of a commonly forgotten truth, “If you have to chase someone, it means, they don’t want to be with you.”
Instead of chasing likes and followers, it is important to chase your dream and excellence in your chosen path.
This reminds me of a saying from one of my favorite Bollywood movie, 3 Idiots, ” Pursue excellence and success will chase you“.
Working on yourself, your dreams and purpose instead of chasing people not only gives you time to build a strong foundation but also gives you the opportunity to build from an inner place of peace and clarity.
3. Start A Hobby
The third recommendation from Jay Shetty is using the free time you have for a hobby.
In my experience, having a hobby has always served as a productive and healthy escape. Getting focused on improving your skill at something which you love doing can really serve as good therapy.
This reminds me of the fact that many successful YouTubers (Lilly Singh AKA Superwoman and Gabbie Hanna just to name a few), started making youtube videos both as therapy and as a hobby.
4. Learn Something New
Jay Shetty goes on to remind us to replace the sad feeling with a feeling of growth, mental growth. He encourages us to take this time to learn something.
- Reading a book.
- Listening to a new podcast
Are my two favorite Jay Shetty recommended ways to improve my knowledge.
5. Live With Intention
Jay Shetty also tells us to have a reason for whatever we are doing. In order words not doing things on autopilot.
This is my favorite point and in my case the hardest to practice. My greatest challenge is sometimes, I feel like the reason I have for doing certain things is not good enough.
Yeah, like days when I just want to lay down in bed and have a marathon of whatever Netflix has to offer. My honest reason for this is trying to escape from my present reality. In order words not wanting to deal or face my emotions.
As running away from my emotions always has side effects which in most cases lead me to a darker place, I have since learned this is not the best way to go, at least not for long.
Hence when we take time out to think of the reasons for our actions we are a step closer to taking better actions. Knowing the reason for our actions gives us a clearer picture of their possible outcomes.
6. Talk To Yourself
Jay Shetty’s last recommendation is spending time with yourself and thoughts. Trying your best to be comfortable with who you are.
Instead of finding another person or thing to get attached to, learn to be comfortable with yourself.
If I am being honest, this a very uncomfortable and overwhelming place for me, especially when I have a lot of things to think about.
From the statistics provided by Jay Shetty in this video, I see I am not alone. In fact, a majority of people detest being alone with their thoughts.
We are running away from that constant reminder that, we hate our present situation in life and we can do something about it but have chosen not to because It is a very hard road to take.
Yet if we remember that this is the main reason why the degree of success that we all admire is achieved only by 1%.
So the choice is ours, are we ready to do the work, which only 1% of people are committed to doing?
My favorite recommendation to facilitate this journey is journaling. There is something about writing things down which makes your thoughts clearer.