I just got dumped
I was taking an afternoon nap when I was woken up by a loud noise I thought I heard.
I called my aunt who was sitting in the living room, asking her what had fallen down but she had no idea what I was talking about.
I then checked my phone to see if I had received any messages.
Yes, I did, from my now ex, telling him me its over.
Needless to say, I was heartbroken.
Yes, I cried but I couldn’t afford to stay down for long.
I had to heal.
There was a problem I didn’t know how I had never been dumped before.
But like everything, I have been able to do so far, I knew what I had to do was research on healing for a broken heart.
Yes, sometimes I still get flashes of pain when I think about him.
But mostly I feel much better and excited about my future.
Here is what helped me to get from there to here.
Healing for a broken heart
I will be sharing with you the video I watched which got me back on track.
Videos which helped my mind grieve reflected on and developed a strategy to get over him.
Most of the content I will be sharing with you today is from Susan Winter from susanwinter.net.
She is incredible
1.If They Left You – by Jay Shetty
As I rewatched this video to write this article, I managed to go through it without crying.
This is so much progressed from the first time I watched and couldn’t hold back the tears.
Also, I noticed as I rewatched with a mindless overwhelmed with grief, I got so much more value out of it.
In this video, Jay Shetty reminds us of something which I believe its very important to take note of when people we love don’t choose us.
And we start doubting our worth.
I wasn’t good enough, it is my fault he left and so much more.
Remember, even at your best you’ll never be right for the wrong person but even at your worst, the right person will remind you of your worth.
2. What He’s Thinking When He Breaks Up With You – Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy
This was a segment from an episode of “love live with Matthew Hussey” on iheart radio.
In this episode, the caller recounted a situation which was somehow similar to mine.
Matthew then proceeds to clarify somethings to how about what the guy was thinking and what is the best way to handle the breakup.
He talks about there 2 stages of a break up which are
Grieving and rebuilding.
There is no fixed time to grief and it is important you take some time to lick your wounds.
Grieving is a very important process of recovery.
Then we can begin to rebuild.
Sometimes we can begin rebuilding while we grieve.
Matthew encourages us, to go out there and experience new things.
Building an awesome life, begin that project you have always wanted to do.
Sometimes this might make him gravitate back to you.
But even if he doesn’t, you still win an awesome life you have created.
3. Why they can’t come back (if you’re ‘waiting and hoping’) — Susan Winter
They come back when you don’t think about them, they come back when you don’t care.
She tells us to
- Embrace the new
- Be grateful for the time you had together.
- and move forward with optimism, hope, and confidence of what had been achieved.
If we stay frozen in the place which didn’t work for your ex, then when they run into you again, it will only reconfirm them that they made the right decision.
You must move
The absence of the energy and your will to move forward catalyzes their interest in you.
4. They bailed out of the blue. Here’s why. — Susan Winter
Stop trying to do things to fix it.
If he or she led you on, into wanting a relationship and suddenly decides, it’s not for them anymore.
It’s not you.
Really it’s them.
- They wanted the idea of a relationship, not a real relationship.
- When things got real, they fleed.
- They ran too fast, too far and they couldn’t sustain.
It has nothing to do with you.
They don’t have the skill to be in a real relationship, you can’t urge them back.
The best thing you can do is move on, try to be good to yourself.
The moment you can realize that the is nothing you can do to fix them.
They have to go through this journey on their own.
You will find relief and the will to move on with your life.
5. Hot & Cold: Why They Pursue When You Distance — Susan Winter
This video throw more light to the video above.
He will chase you when you distance.
She even goes further to talk about some life experiences which proves this point.
6. Breaking Up – Healing & Closure from a broken relationship Spoken Meditation
This morning I began my day with some meditation.
Yes, I shed some tears while I meditated but it was a really healing experience.
This guided meditation voices out what you might be feeling.
Then you are given a scenario to imagine which reassures you of brighter, better days.
7. How being heartbroken was the best thing to ever happen to me: Emma Gibbs at TEDxSouthBankWomen
The next healing for a broken heart comes from Emma Gibbs is a writer, producer, organizer, and storyteller.
She talks about her own breakup story.
The mistakes she made in her recovery process.
Listening to her head and shutting down her heart.
She talks about rekindling the flames with her ex.
Going through a second break up, when she realized he was not willing to fight for her.
Time healed her wounds.
Everything began working out with time.
She achieved so much because she was willing to let go of the love and plans she was determined to make work.
- She wrote a series of books.
- Made a film.
- Started her own business.
- She has traveled the world.
- She has a TED talk.
Because of all the emotional turmoil, she is now living the life she had always dreamed about
She then concludes by reminding us to listen to our hearts and our heads inorder to create, inspire and achieve the greatness our world desperately needs.
8. Power of Breakup | Onkar Kishan Khullar | TEDxRamanujanCollege
Onkar Kishan, popularly known as Gareebo Ka steve jobs or digital Gandhi, started his first company at 21.
My favorite part of his talk is when he talks about the story of the limitless powers man once had.
But when God noticed how man misused these powers, he decided to hide them away in our hearts.
And they could only be released by either falling in love or a breakup.
He gives a list of people who have channeled the powers that came from their heartbreaks.
Names like Adele, Shakespear, etc
They created outstanding arts or came up with new inventions, using these powers.
So this is your time, look within and bring out something incredible.
start the business or write that poem you always wanted to write.
9. The Unstoppable Power of Letting Go | Jill Sherer Murray | TEDxWilmingtonWomen
Jill is an award-winning journalist and communications leader.
She talks about a story of how she let go of a 12-year relationship.
A relationship with a guy who was not willing to commit.
It was a hard and painful decision but one of the best decisions she had ever made.
Soon after she met her husband and had the relationship, she truly deserved and always wanted.
Let go of your ex, somethings are just not meant to be.
Holding on to them might just be closing doors for something much better.
10. Q&A: How do I move on from rejection and not let it affect my self-worth? — Susan Winter
Let’s conclude with this healing for a broken hearts playlist with another video from Susan Winter.
In this video, she reminds us that it is unrealistic to not feel hurt after rejection.
So that intense hurt you are now feeling is completely normal.
But before you make any conclusion about your dating or romance story, first examine your situation.
- What is the pond that you are fishing in?
- Which kind of people are you saying yes to?
- Are you placing yourself in the right audience to meet the right people?
Remember, no person should tell you what you are worth.
Dig into some private understanding of who you are
Work on your self- esteem, and confidence, while leaving them out of it.
Then reenter the dating market with the right frame of mind.
This too shall pass
As you go through the healing for a broken heart, I recommend you should always have this mantra at the back of your mind
This too shall pass
Yes, it will.
Like one of my favorite poet, Rupi Kaur said,
If the hurt comes
So will the happiness
I really hope we come out of this stronger and be the legends we were all born to be.
In case I left any video you found useful for your healing process, please let me know in the comments below, I will love to watch and maybe update the list.