how to live after a breakup
Self-development

3 Major Joy Bringing Steps On How To Live After A Breakup

Warning: you might need some time to grieve before reading this article on how to proceed to make the best of your breakup experience.

This list of video will help you during this grieving process.

Yes breakUps suck but let’s look at the Brightside

Before we dive into how to live after a breakup, I will like to begin by shifting our minds to the positive of our present situation.

quote about how to live after a breakup

Breakups hurt but losing someone who doesn’t respect and appreciate you is actually a gain, not a loss.

No relationship is ever a waste of your time. If it didn’t bring you what you want, it taught you what you don’t want.

quote about how to live after a breakup

Stars can’t shine without darkness

Kris Menace

Focus On Bettering Yourself

As we discussed yesterday, the best way to move on from a breakup is focusing on you.

That is, becoming the best version of yourself.

I know it can be really hard.

Today, I really struggled to get out of bed.

I started feeling better as the day went on but a few minutes ago, I was overwhelmed with so many sad emotions, trying to hold back tears

But I am trying to push forward because I strongly believe it is the right thing to do.

Mostly for myself.

Because the only way to become the best version of myself is to do the work needed to accomplish this goal.

So today we will be talking about how to do just that.

How To Live After A Breakup

how to live after a breakup

So let’s remember our goal is not just moving on but moving on to greater heights.

We are committed to taking up activities which will;

  • Restore our self-worth.
  • Get our minds off our ex.
  • Help us become the best version of ourselves

The is a high probability this will attract our exes back to us but even if it doesn’t, you still win a better version of someone who will always be with you.

Yourself

1. What are your goals?

how to live after a breakup by beginning with  your goals

Begin with the end in mind.

Stephen Covey

So before we set any actions in motion, lets first set our goals.

But first, let’s talk some more about some of the importance of setting goals

The importance of having goals

We can’t begin our journey without an idea of the destination we are trying to reach.

We might not know how to get there.

That we can figure out along the way but we must know our destination in order to work out our how.

Setting and reminding ourselves of our goals also helps keeps us stay focused on the prize.

Now more than ever we need something to focus on.

Our goals will help us stay accountable.

Writing them down helps clarify the picture of what we really want.

How to determine your goals

Now we know how important it is to set our goals.

Our next question might be, how do we know the right goals to set?

The goals which will bring out the best in us.

We can know this by answering any of the following questions

  • What do you want to accomplish?
  • What will make you feel fulfilled?
  • Where can you channel the intense emotions you are feeling?
  • What have you always wanted to do but you hesitated?
  • What brings you the greatest joy?

Reflecting on these questions gets you a step closer to knowing what you really want.

In case you face any difficulties getting an answer to these questions, this goal setting guides from a very successful blogger, Nadalie Bardo will be very helpful to get you started.

These guides include a quiz with thought-provoking questions, a worksheet which helps you keep track of your goals, a goal setting masterclass and a course which goes into details about efficient goal planning.

Lots to choose from.

Many options to help you get it right.

2. What habits do you need to develop?

Now we have our goals all written down, we are ready to proceed with the HOW

How do we achieve our goals?the importance of habit on how to live after a breakup

If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.

Colin Powell

Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.

George Washington Carverthe importance of habit in how to live after a breakup



We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. 

Will Durant

how to live after a breakup with motivation



Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.

Jim Ryun

So as the highly successful people mentioned above, forming habits are very important in order to achieve our goals.

Some habits you need to form depends on your specific goals but some are general habits.

Habits which are very important for the attainment of any goals.

Meditation

meditation on how to live after a breakup

Meditation is a process of lightening up, of trusting the basic goodness of what we have and who we are, and of realizing that any wisdom that exists, exists in what we already have. We can lead our life so as to become more awake to who we are and what we’re doing rather than trying to improve or change or get rid of who we are or what we’re doing. The key is to wake up, to become more alert, more inquisitive and curious about ourselves.

 ~Pema Chodron

You might want to try out guided meditation, which focuses on healing after a breakup.

Here is the one I tried which left me in a better state of mind.

Yoga/ Exercising

importance of yoga on how to live after a breakup

Movement is a medicine for creating change in a person’s physical, emotional, and mental states.

Carol Welch

Exercising and working towards attaining the body you always wanted is an incredible way to keep your self-confidence on point.

Healthy Eating

importance of diet on how to live after a breakup

A healthy diet is a solution to many of our health-care problems. It’s the most important solution.

John Mackey

I love hearing stories about people who have been able to change their terrible health situations just by becoming more conscious about what they eat.

Eating right gives you the energy and health you need to work hard towards accomplishing your goals.

Reading

importance of reading on how to live after a breakup

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.

Joseph Addison

Reading introduces you to the world of possibility.

If you are like me and can’t find the patience to read, audiobooks are just what you need.

Combining listening to podcasts or audiobooks with doing chores at home not only increases my knowledge but also keeps my mind away from focusing on my ex.

Gratitude

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

– Melody Beattie
Be grateful for the love you still have in your life and work hard toward keeping that.

Be grateful for the so many privileges you have and might take for granted.

I really do believe we all can name at least 10 things we can be grateful for today.

If you don’t think so, Checkout my list of 12 relatable things I am grateful for, I am certain we will find something to add to your list. Something, you might have underlooked.

Discipline

the importance of discipline on how to live after a breakup

Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.

Jim Rohn

There are so many times you will not feel like getting up and doing what needs to be done, even on those days, you still need to get up and do what needs to be done.

Trust me, I do know it is easier said than done.

But once you get started and get things done you will feel so much better about yourself than if you stayed in bed.

In fact we often times regret staying in bed which makes us feel terrible about ourselves.

Which is something we don’t need at this point in our life when we might be feeling very insecure.

The five-second rule by Mel Robbins gives us an awesome tip on getting ourselves to make the first step necessary.

3. What actions do you need to take?

the importance of action on how to live after a breakup

You cannot score a goal when you are sitting on the bench. To do so, you have to dress up and enter the game.
~ Israelmore Ayivor

So now that we have our goals all written down and we are striving to form winning habits, let’s take it a step further and act.

Action is the only way we will get the things done which will help us raise our self-worth.

Action is what will get our ex off our mind.

We will all agree that the highest time we think of our lost love is when we are idling around.

And since our major goal after a break up is getting our ex off our mind, action is what will save us.

But in order for us to come out of this winning, we need to do the right actions, not;

  • Clubbing
  • Getting high
  • Using drugs
  • Getting drunk

Yes the above will help us forget at times even more efficiently and quicker than productive actions (meditation,…)

But these are all short lived 

In fact let’s watch this video from a renowned love coach Matthew Hussey, telling us what not to do after a breakup.

In this video , he tells us what not to do and does a better job at explaing the horrible side effects.

Let’s try to keep the positive vibe

positive only on how to live after a a breakup

Now we have spoken about how to live after a breakup, the 3 major steps we need to follow.

And I know it is really difficult to stay positive during this time but this is the best way to go.

This is the state of mind which will lead us to the right actions to get the right feedback.

The positive state of mind might even inspire you to dig into the pain you are feeling , in order to produce arts which is healing.

Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. They stay focused on their past successes rather than their past failures, and on the next action steps they need to take to get them closer to the fulfillment of their goals rather than all the other distractions that life presents to them.

Jack Canfield

Let’s turn our sorrow into treasured goal.

turn my sorrow into treasured gold. How to live after a breakup

One of my favorite break up song is by Adele, rolling in the deep because of this line.

Turn my sorrow into treasure gold.

This really hits me especially because it is coming from Adele.

Who publicly  sings about her heartbreaks and struggles in relationships.

Songs which mostly have millions, sometimes billions of hits.

She is loved by many and she is filthy rich because she shares her pain in a way which is easy to digest and love.

She literally makes gold ( money) from her sorrow, so does Taylor swift  ( I wrote a poem to express my hurt )

Now I am not saying you have to be a musician to make use of your sorrow.

but I am saying , we all can accomplish greatness from our inert potentials

And immediately after a breakup is the perfect time to begin.

So let’s do it, let’s be legendary

I will like to hear from you, what other effective ways did you handle your breakup, what is the greatest challange you are facing after the break?

how to live after a breakup

8 Comments

  • Twack Romero

    For once someone has realised that to get through the hard times you need some positive actions. You have given a host of good, solid gems that should be followed. I like the quotes, especially the one right at the start about ‘break ups hurting’. We always tend to dwell on how bad we feel and what a loss we’ve had. It’s not always the case. If you always look at the past how will you see where you’re going.? The poem was pretty darn awesome. I did try and watch the video but I couldn’t find the link. Your positive attitude and outlook shines through in your site. really enjoyed being here. Thank you.

    • Etah

      Thanks for being here and reading my poem, I really appreciate your feedback.

      I like your point of view, we can not stay focused on what’s ahead if we keep being distracted by the past.

      Sorry, you couldn’t find the link, I have made the corrections.

      Here is the link 

      https://youtu.be/2oUM2AqTe0k

  • Babsie Wagner

    So many wonderful ideas to get over a breakup, which can be so devastating, especially if you’ve been in a relationship for a while.  When my ex and I split, it was really tough because we had been together for many years, and our circles totally collided.  I mean, we had separate friends, but we had more in common than not, and so it was more than awkward when it came to, well, everything.  

    When you’re part of a duo, it is hard to find what you are alone.  I love all your ideas, because they help to refocus your mind and energy on yourself, what you want now that you’re not part of that duo any longer, and where you’re going.  Thanks for a great article.

    • Etah

      It was a pleasure sharing.

      Thanks for sharing your experience.

      It is very important for everyone presently going through the painful experience of a breakup to remember that they are not alone. 

      We have all being through it, we survived and so can you.

  • Cyndy

    I love this quote: Breakups hurt but losing someone who doesn’t respect and appreciate you is actually a gain, not a loss. What a perspective shift! I like that you mentioned exercise and healthy eating as the tendency for females going through a difficult time is to eat lots of comfort food which isn’t good for our bodies in the long-term. Some junk food is good, but it’s important not to go overboard so prioritizing exercise and healthy food choices will be another block in the long term goals you are working towards. I would also say laughter really is good medicine so watching some stand up comedy online can be helpful.

  • Cat

    I have lived through a few break ups in my time & your advice is pretty solid. Concentrate on improving the self vs spending all your energy feeling self pity about the breakup. After all, one must love themselves before loving someone else.

    I hope anyone that reads this article will take the advice seriously. Too many times I’ve seen normally responsible people go down a dark path after a breakup only to regret their actions shortly after, making their healing process even more difficult.

    What advice would you give someone who, even after doing all of these steps, just can’t let go? Or they see their ex moving on & it hampers all of their progress?

    • Etah

      Thanks for visiting my site. 

      Yes, it is very important to move on after a breakup but it is also very hard. 

      So it is very understandable and expected if we get hurt by seeing our ex move on.

      But what I know for sure is that all wounds heal, if we just give it the time to.

      Also from experience, I have realized that when you are in a better, happier place when you see your ex, it’s easier to handle it than if you remained at a standstill.

      Again, feeling hurt when you see your ex move on, is totally normal, don’t hate yourself for it cause it will only make you feel worst.

      Accept the emotions you are feeling and reflect on why, and how to move on from that.

      I hope this was helpful.

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